Whispers

I lost my tertiary student ez link!! Arrrrggggggghhhhh!!! I’m ever so careless. I’ve learned a lesson. To zip my bag!!! At “all” time[s].

Lalalalalala…Mary turned 21 today!! Hehehe!!! School has [and will] always been lively with you around!!! Enjoy your birthday dear!!!
**Huggies**

It’s hard when our preconceived thoughts never happen in reality. I had so many plans for today, but was not able to proceed with them due to my bad health. I’m now easily falling prey to the “Sick Monster”. It sucks. Totally.

My throat has been aching for the past 3 days. I feel like I just recovered from a high fever, but I’ve not fallen sick that badly! And I can feel something(s) running here and there in my head. I don’t know whether I’m stressed to feel all these. Or am I really sick? I don’t know!

It was sure one hell of a week. The big day is coming up and I’m sure I’m not looking forward to it. I’m trying my best to restrain myself from watching too much TV. So its goodbye freedom. And hello buckets of orange juice [my caffeine].

I’ve been sleeping a lot this week. I’m not the study all night kind of girl. If I need to sleep. I MUST SLEEP! I used to be an insomniac. But not anymore! I realize that I sleep a lot [more than 12 hours a day] when I’m stressed. And yeah all this stress has also reduced my appetite to an extreme level. I’ve been sleeping more than half a day and I barely eat. The only meal I now have is my dinner. And at times even that is being skipped! Exams are in 2 weeks. Errr. I need to keep myself healthy!

Also exam stress makes you feel guilty for the smallest things. Let’s like just say a friend asked you out, it’s like “hey what bad can it do right?” But your gut goes “you’re going to regret this!” And you turn into a total Debbie Downer, which sucks. But that’s what exams do to you. They turn even the liveliest of people into total wet blankets.

So there’s no doubt I’ll be a “MIA” for the next 2 weeks. I’m still trying to get my head into all out exam mode, which I guess will not happen till a couple days from today. I want to sleep more.

PS: I’ve once slept 41hours straight! 

Most would say that family knows one best then friends would be second and probably the longer the friendship the better. In many cases this may be true but not in every situation. In fact, for me, it may even be reversed. Maybe this is due to the fact that we tend to move so frequently and that I have not been around old friends for so long. I do not know. I am not the same person I once was; Allah is continuing to change me each and every day. Some days admittedly are slower than others and there are set backs, but God even uses those to mold His children. The fact is people change.

If you are allowed to live next to your family and friends for a long time, like growing up around in the same area and never straying far from home, I would agree that family and long time friends would know you best. They are there and see you grow day by day. They know your history and where you have come from. Their views on us broadens as they see you grow and change. You are still the same person in many respects but if they were to contrast you with whom you are at the current moment to where you were early on they might say you were a different person. Yet, they have watched you grow and have come along beside you every step of the way. This does not mean they agree or accept everything in your life, but they see it as who you are now.

For those who are not surrounded by the ones who have a real history of your life yet do not always see the changes, the maturity, or walked you through difficult times these changes can be harder to accept. They sees your history and who you once were. They have not watched you grow and change. This has not been in their viewfinder of your life. When you are reunited they see who you are in light of who you once were and their vision can be skewed. They have a narrow view of who you are because they have not broadened their view of you as you have grown because they were not there when the growing took place.

This is why I believe that my more recent friends are the people who truly know who I am. They have started their viewfinder at a different place in my journey of life. They see me for who I am not who I once was. If I tell them things of my past they can place it into their view of who I am but do not see me through that filter. They know who I am now and accept me as I am. There are times I am with family that I feel that I cannot be who I really am because they do not accept who I have become.

We must make sure that we are willing to set our filters aside when viewing people and see them where they are not our preconceived ideas of who they are or who they once were. This is not an easy task because in many respects they are the same individual.

Hence, I wouldn’t say that I’m the same old person. No one can be the same person as what we were before[Way too many changes]. People change. As we are getting older, we realize ourselves getting busier and we really don’t have that time to hang out with our friends anymore!! My recent friends are my school and classmates. I see them almost everyday and I can’t really say that I miss them. Right now I really miss my secondary school friends, Vicky, Louise, Milo and even Siddu [2.1: It's been long since I spent quality time with you either]. So guys, if I can’t commit myself to something, you should now know the reason. And the online business venture is getting me busier than ever. I really wish [I WILL] find the time to hang out with you guys and have great fun together as what we did!!!

Shopping with you today was definitely great Maryam!! Your prince is going to be more than overwhelmed to see you in that HOT dress. And yea…I’ve conveyed your “thanks” to my mum!! **Hugs & Kisses**

I feel like I’m out of place today. I feel disturbed, but I’m not able to find the reason within me. Conversation with Bhavani today was hard and meeting her tomorrow is going to be harder-er!!

I’ve a pile of assignments to finish up and I’m in no mood. *Err*!!

I wanted to donate blood today but I was not eligible for it. I have an acceptable weight for my height and yet I can’t. One must be at least 45kg to donate blood. That’s so not fair! *Err*!!

And I’ve finally decided to take up a CCA. Now the confusion is between soccer and make up artiste. *Errr*!

Graphic Design is getting tedious now. *Err*!

!!!!!GgggRrrRrRRRR!!!!!

The festive mood of Deepavali is yet not over and a family spends this mood with intense grieve. A very close friend of mine’s younger brother suddenly passed away. The cause of the death is yet unknown.

Just as he began his life by seeing what “life” really meant, his journey in this world ended. An innocent soul has been snatched away for no apparent reason.

There are millions [definitely even more] of useless lives out there who don’t ever deserve to stay in this world. Of all these people, why did he had to handpick that young soul?!

It’s not fair! He was young and had his whole life ahead of him. Why did he have to die? Why?

A little boy who was just playing around yesterday, is no longer going to be around. I’ll keep on venting out my frustrations till I meet that little boy and the rest of my “forever” lost relatives and friends.

Today we’ll say goodbye and there will be many tears the family and friends will shed. And today we’ll sing a song, read out a verse, leave flowers, photos, poems and I’ll defnitely rememeber the crying family. To think, this isn’t really the end. We’re burying his body, but the soul will live forever. The memories he left will can never be erased. He was certainly too young to die, barely lived his life and everything he did was neither wrong or right but it was his special way. He’ll watch his family and friends from up there. And he shall now be safer with HIM! But I feel, the game HE just played was so not fair!

I’m intensely sorry for Bhavani’s [Visha] family and there isn’t any word or even any small thing in this world to make them feel any better. Hope TIME makes them better!